The Real Mother Goose SIMPLE SIMON Simple Simon met a pieman, Going to the fair; Says Simple Simon to the pieman, "Let me taste your ware." Says the pieman to Simple Simon, "Show me first your penny," Says Simple Simon to the pieman, "Indeed, I have not any." Simple Simon went a-fishing For to catch a whale; All the water he could find Was in his mother's pail! Simple Simon went to look If plums grew on a thistle; He pricked his fingers very much, Which made poor Simon whistle. He went to catch a dicky bird, And thought he could not fail, Because he had a little salt, To put upon its tail. He went for water with a sieve, But soon it ran all through; And now poor Simple Simon Bids you all adieu. THREE BLIND MICE Three blind mice! See how they run! They all ran after the farmer's wife, Who cut off their tails with a carving knife. Did you ever see such a thing in your life As three blind mice? FIVE TOES This little pig went to market; This little pig stayed at home; This little pig had roast beef; This little pig had none; This little pig said, "Wee, wee! I can't find my way home." A LITTLE MAN There was a little man, and he had a little gun, And his bullets were made of lead, lead, lead; He went to the brook, and saw a little duck, And shot it right through the head, head, head. He carried it home to his old wife Joan, And bade her a fire to make, make, make. To roast the little duck he had shot in the brook, And he'd go and fetch the drake, drake, drake. The drake was a-swimming with his curly tail; The little man made it his mark, mark, mark. He let off his gun, but he fired too soon, And the drake flew away with quack, quack, quack. DOCTOR FOSTER Doctor Foster went to Glo'ster, In a shower of rain; He stepped in a puddle, up to his middle, And never went there again. DIDDLE DIDDLE DUMPLING Diddle diddle dumpling, my son John Went to bed with his breeches on, One stocking off, and one stocking on; Diddle diddle dumpling, my son John. JERRY HALL Jerry Hall, he was so small, A rat could eat him, hat and all. LENGTHENING DAYS As the days grow longer The storms grow stronger. THE BLACK HEN Hickety, pickety, my black hen, She lays eggs for gentlemen; Gentlemen come every day To see what my black hen doth lay. THE MIST A hill full, a hole full, Yet you cannot catch a bowl full. A CANDLE Little Nanny Etticoat In a white petticoat, And a red nose; The longer she stands The shorter she grows. MISS MUFFET Little Miss Muffet Sat on a tuffet, Eating of curds and whey; There came a big spider, And sat down beside her, And frightened Miss Muffet away. CURLY-LOCKS Curly-locks, Curly-locks, wilt thou be mine? Thou shalt not wash the dishes, nor yet feed the swine; But sit on a cushion, and sew a fine seam, And feed upon strawberries, sugar, and cream. HUMPTY DUMPTY Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall, Humpty Dumpty had a great fall; All the King's horses, and all the King's men Cannot put Humpty Dumpty together again. ONE, TWO, THREE One, two, three, four, five, Once I caught a fish alive. Six, seven, eight, nine, ten, But I let it go again. Why did you let it go? Because it bit my finger so. Which finger did it bite? The little one upon the right. THE DOVE AND THE WREN The dove says coo, coo, what shall I do? I can scarce maintain two. Pooh, pooh! says the wren, I've got ten, And keep them all like gentlemen. MASTER I HAVE Master I have, and I am his man, Gallop a dreary dun; Master I have, and I am his man, And I'll get a wife as fast as I can; With a heighty gaily gamberally, Higgledy piggledy, niggledy, niggledy, Gallop a dreary dun. PINS See a pin and pick it up, All the day you'll have good luck. See a pin and let it lay, Bad luck you'll have all the day. SHALL WE GO A-SHEARING? "Old woman, old woman, shall we go a-shearing?" "Speak a little louder, sir, I am very thick of hearing." "Old woman, old woman, shall I kiss you dearly?" "Thank you, kind sir, I hear you very clearly." GOOSEY, GOOSEY, GANDER Goosey, goosey, gander, Whither dost thou wander? Upstairs and downstairs And in my lady's chamber. There I met an old man Who wouldn't say his prayers; I took him by the left leg, And threw him down the stairs. OLD MOTHER HUBBARD Old Mother Hubbard; Went to the cupboard, To give her poor dog a bone; But when she got there The cupboard was bare, And so the poor dog had none. She went to the baker's To buy him some bread; When she came back The dog was dead. She went to the undertaker's To buy him a coffin; When she got back The dog was laughing. She took a clean dish To get him some tripe; When she came back He was smoking a pipe. She went to the alehouse To get him some beer; When she came back The dog sat in a chair. She went to the tavern For white wine and red; When she came back The dog stood on his head. She went to the hatter's To buy him a hat; When she came back He was feeding the cat. She went to the barber's To buy him a wig; When she came back He was dancing a jig. She went to the fruiterer's To buy him some fruit; When she came back He was playing the flute. She went to the tailor's To buy him a coat; When she came back He was riding a goat. She went to the cobbler's To buy him some shoes; When she came back He was reading the news. She went to the sempster's To buy him some linen; When she came back The dog was a-spinning. She went to the hosier's To buy him some hose; When she came back He was dressed in his clothes. The dame made a curtsy, The dog made a bow; The dame said, "Your servant," The dog said, "Bow-wow." THE COCK AND THE HEN "Cock, cock, cock, cock, I've laid an egg, Am I to gang ba--are-foot?" "Hen, hen, hen, hen, I've been up and down To every shop, in town, And cannot find a shoe To fit your foot, If I'd crow my hea--art out." BLUE BELL BOY I had a little boy, And called him Blue Bell; Gave him a little work,-- He did it very well. I bade him go upstairs To bring me a gold pin; In coal scuttle fell he, Up to his little chin. He went to the garden To pick a little sage; He tumbled on his nose, And fell into a rage. He went to the cellar To draw a little beer; And quickly did return To say there was none there. WHY MAY NOT I LOVE JOHNNY? Johnny shall have a new bonnet, And Johnny shall go to the fair, And Johnny shall have a blue ribbon To tie up his bonny brown hair' And why may not I love Johnny? And why may not Johnny love me? And why may not I love Johnny As well as another body? And here's a leg for a stocking, And here's a foot for a shoe, And he has a kiss for his daddy, And two for his mammy, I trow. And why may not I love Johnny? And why may not Johnny love me? And why may not I love Johnny As well as another body? JACK JELF Little Jack Jelf Was put on the shelf Because he could not spell "pie"; When his aunt, Mrs. Grace, Saw his sorrowful face, She could not help saying, "Oh, fie!" And since Master Jelf Was put on the shelf Because he could not spell "pie," Let him stand there so grim, And no more about him, For I wish him a very good-bye! JACK SPRAT Jack Sprat Could eat no fat, His wife could eat no lean; And so, Betwixt them both, They licked the platter clean. HUSH-A-BYE Hush-a-bye, baby, Daddy is near; Mamma is a lady, And that's very clear. DAFFODILS Daffy-down-dilly has come to town In a yellow petticoat and a green gown. THE GIRL IN THE LANE The girl in the lane, that couldn't speak plain, Cried, "Gobble, gobble, gobble": The man on the hill that couldn't stand still, Went hobble hobble, hobble. HUSH-A-BYE Hush-a-bye, baby, lie still with thy daddy, Thy mammy has gone to the mill, To get some meal to bake a cake, So pray, my dear baby, lie still. NANCY DAWSON Nancy Dawson was so fine She wouldn't get up to serve the swine; She lies in bed till eight or nine, So it's Oh, poor Nancy Dawson. And do ye ken Nancy Dawson, honey? The wife who sells the barley, honey? She won't get up to feed her swine, And do ye ken Nancy Dawson, honey? HANDY PANDY Handy Pandy, Jack-a-dandy, Loves plum cake and sugar candy. He bought some at a grocer's shop, And out he came, hop, hop, hop! JACK AND JILL Jack and Jill went up the hill, To fetch a pail of water; Jack fell down, and broke his crown, And Jill came tumbling after. When up Jack got and off did trot, As fast as he could caper, To old Dame Dob, who patched his nob With vinegar and brown paper. THE ALPHABET A, B, C, and D, Pray, playmates, agree. E, F, and G, Well, so it shall be. J, K, and L, In peace we will dwell. M, N, and 0, To play let us go. P, Q, R, and S, Love may we possess. W, X, and Y, Will not quarrel or die. Z, and ampersand, Go to school at command. DANCE TO YOUR DADDIE Dance to your daddie, My bonnie laddie; Dance to your daddie, my bonnie lamb; You shall get a fishy, On a little dishy; You shall get a fishy, when the boat comes home. ONE MISTY MOISTY MORNING One misty moisty morning, When cloudy was the weather, I chanced to meet an old man, Clothed all in leather. He began to compliment And I began to grin. How do you do? And how do you do? And how do you do again? ROBIN HOOD AND LITTLE JOHN Robin Hood, Robin Hood, Is in the mickle wood! Little John, Little John, He to the town is gone. Robin Hood, Robin Hood, Telling his beads, All in the greenwood Among the green weeds. Little John, Little John, If he comes no more, Robin Hood, Robin Hood, We shall fret full sore! RAIN Rain, rain, go to Spain, And never come back again. THE OLD WOMAN FROM FRANCE There came an old woman from France Who taught grown-up children to dance; But they were so stiff, She sent them home in a sniff, This sprightly old woman from France. TEETH AND GUMS Thirty white horses upon a red hill, Now they tramp, now they champ, now they stand still. THE ROBINS A robin and a robin's son Once went to town to buy a bun. They couldn't decide on plum or plain, And so they went back home again. THE OLD MAN There was an old man In a velvet coat, He kissed a maid And gave her a groat. The groat it was crack'd And would not go,-- Ah, old man, do you serve me so? T'OTHER LITTLE TUNE I won't be my father's Jack, I won't be my father's Jill; I will be the fiddler's wife, And have music when I will. T'other little tune, T'other little tune, Prithee, Love, play me T'other little tune. MY KITTEN Hey, my kitten, my kitten, And hey, my kitten, my deary! Such a sweet pet as this Was neither far nor neary. IF ALL THE SEAS WERE ONE SEA If all the seas were one sea, What a great sea that would be! And if all the trees were one tree, What a great tree that would be! And if all the axes were one axe, What a great axe that would be! And if all the men were one man, What a great man he would be! And if the great man took the great axe, And cut down the great tree, And let it fall into the great sea, What a splish splash that would be! PANCAKE DAY Great A, little a, This is pancake day; Toss the ball high, Throw the ball low, Those that come after May sing heigh-ho! A PLUM PUDDING Flour of England, fruit of Spain, Met together in a shower of rain; Put in a bag tied round with a string; If you'll tell me this riddle, I'll give you a ring. FOREHEAD, EYES, CHEEKS, NOSE, MOUTH, AND CHIN Here sits the Lord Mayor, Here sit his two men, Here sits the cock, Here sits the hen, Here sit the little chickens, Here they run in. Chin-chopper, chin-chopper, chin chopper, chin! TWO PIGEONS I had two pigeons bright and gay, They flew from me the other day. What was the reason they did go? I cannot tell, for I do not know. A SURE TEST If you are to be a gentleman, As I suppose you'll be, You'll neither laugh nor smile, For a tickling of the knee. LOCK AND KEY "I am a gold lock." "I am a gold key." "I am a silver lock." "I am a silver key." "I am a brass lock." "I am a brass key. "I am a lead lock." "I am a lead key. "I am a don lock." "I am a don key! THE LION AND THE UNICORN The Lion and the Unicorn were fighting for the crown, The Lion beat the Unicorn all around the town. Some gave them white bread, and some gave them brown, Some gave them plum-cake, and sent them out of town. THE MERCHANTS OF LONDON Hey diddle dinkety poppety pet, The merchants of London they wear scarlet, Silk in the collar and gold in the hem, So merrily march the merchant men. I HAD A LITTLE HUSBAND I had a little husband no bigger than my thumb, I put him in a pint pot, and there I bid him drum, I bought a little handkerchief to wipe his little nose, And a pair of little garters to tie his little hose. TO BABYLON How many miles is it to Babylon?-- Threescore miles and ten. Can I get there by candle-light?-- Yes, and back again. If your heels are nimble and light, You may get there by candle-light. I'LL TELL YOU A STORY I'll tell you a story About Jack-a-Nory: And now my story's begun. I'll tell you another About his brother: And now my story is done. A STRANGE OLD WOMAN There was an old woman, and what do you think? She lived upon nothing but victuals, and drink; Victuals and drink were the chief of her diet, And yet this old woman could never be quiet.